Thoughts: Understanding Myself and My Anxiety #2

I still continue to find articles that help me to better understand myself and my anxiety. Here are two more.

22 Ways People With Mental Illness Know They Are Loved
The numbers that apply to me: 1-3, 5-15, 17-20, 22

36 People Share How They’ve Helped Friends Through Their Anxiety
The numbers that apply to me: 1-4 (for me it's grounding), 5-7, 9-14, 16, 20-22 (if we're in public or someone else is around), 23-25 (for me it's offering to help do chores or make food, etc.), 27, 28 (even just the good memories in general, my boyfriend does this for me from time to time), 29 (hot chocolate), 31-36

I'm finding as a general rule of thumb, just ask me what I need if I'm feeling really anxious. If I say I don't know what I want, opening a yogscast channel on youtube for me, asking what I haven't watched yet and opening that video for me, that really helps. If you don't have access to the internet, just be patient and wait for me to calm down on my own or to ask you for something specific. Go ahead and do your own thing at that point, I don't want to be a burden. But please stay in the same room close by. If we're in public or in a situation with people I don't feel comfortable seeing my anxiety (say at your house but you have other friends over), act normal for me and help me leave the situation that's causing me to be anxious without causing a scene.

If I'm having a full blown panic attack and I can't speak, first help me get my breathing under control. Count at a calm pace "In, 2, 3, 4, Hold, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8" over and over until I'm breathing ok on my own. Then help me with grounding. Ask me to tell you 5 things I can see. Be patient. It may take me a moment. When I've done that then ask me to tell you 4 things I can physically touch. Then ask me to tell you 3 things I can hear. Next ask me to tell you 2 things I can smell. Lastly, ask me to tell you one thing I can taste. This makes the world real and solid again. When I panic I feel like I'm falling into a dark void. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like I'm dying. It's absolutely terrifying. Also when I'm having a panic attack, please don't touch me.

Outside of having an anxiety or panic attack, treat me like you always have. I have anxiety. I am not the embodiment of anxiety. Be there for me but do not try to fix me. That is a huge one. Don't try to fix me and don't treat me as if I am broken or any less because I have anxiety. Validate my reality. Yes, I am fully aware that sometimes my reality is really messed up but that doesn't make it any less real to me. Don't tell me I'm being irrational because trust me, I know that. If I need a reality check, I will ask for it. Don't tell me that this or that should be easy or say things like "Welcome to adulthood" if a new "adult" experience really made me anxious. Things like that only make me feel like a failure and I'm already going to be hard enough on myself as is. Again, trust me I know what is considered to be "normal" and "easy" for other people. It doesn't help when you point out that I'm struggling with them. The last thing I'm going to list here is please learn my triggers and watch for signs that I'm getting really anxious. My biggest sign that I'm getting really anxious is when I go really still and really quiet and I am no longer paying attention to what's going on around me.

That's all that I can think of right now. The paragraphs you just read address what I feel to be especially important and relevant to me. I'm finally learning to discern and articulate what helps me personally, at least a little bit. The articles along with my numbers should address anything else that I missed. I hope this helps you to understand me and what's going on in my head a little better. Like I said, I'm always learning new things so if I learn something else or find a new article, I'll definitely post it. Also, please feel free to ask me questions if you're ever unsure about something. I take that as a sign that you care and are willing to learn along with me.