I watched this in my Study Abroad Re-entry course at the beginning of this semester. When I returned to the United States I had trouble defining where home was for me. I loved being in Australia and I feel like I left a part of my heart there when I left. I feel like part of me belongs in Australia. However, there is also my real home to consider. I grew up in Minnesota, born and raised in the same house. I am Minnesotan. Then there's my university home. I've spent 6, going on 7, semesters at Miami University in Ohio. Minnesota, Australia and Ohio are only considering the places that I've lived for extended periods of time. What about "home is where the heart is"? In that case, my home is somewhere by the ocean where my soul feels most at peace. My home is with my boyfriend where my heart belongs. My home is traveling all around the world where my passion lies. Where is home for me? Not knowing the answer to that question made me feel lost and, at times, out of place and lonely.
What I've learned from my course since then is that home is being comfortable with yourself so that no matter where you are, you always carry your sense of home with you. I have been struggling a bit with my identity and being able to trust myself since my anxiety has gotten worse. I hope to someday do what Pico did and travel by myself again. When I was in Sydney for a weekend by myself I never felt more alive and comfortable with myself. It was the most liberating thing I have ever done. I think a big step in my recovery is going to be taking an opportunity to find my home again; to find myself again. I've set my sights on a week in England. A few days in London and another few days in Bristol. Being in a different country will give me the space I need to take time to myself and disconnect for a while. It will also challenge me a little and help me remind myself what I am capable of. It's strange. I feel in my heart and soul that this is something that I need to do. Really, it's something that I've been craving for too long now: a chance to leave, to be still and to find myself, my home, again.
I'll leave on this note: if you ever get the opportunity to travel on your own, do it. It may be one of the most incredible things you ever get the chance to do.
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